today i have been…extra. i even had a bit more self-confidence on the phone with you today when you called. normally i lose most of my nerve, you know, when we speak to each other face-to-face or voice-to-voice. self-control is definitely lacking. that means that you’d better be holding tight onto my life that you are in charge of.
i’m still so full of you, though, i just can’t stand it. it’s painful. now is one of those times where my need for you is so strong it hurts me everywhere. my body aches all over for your touch. my soul is crying for your whisper. my heart is bleeding for your kiss. my mind is waiting to be subdued by your body. every part of me can’t handle much more. i need you. i need you now. you are not just a want. you are a need.
my eyes are a deep blue right now. a deep blue sea of passion and lust…mixed in with love. i say it like that, but it is a lie. my eyes are a deep blue right now. a deep blue see of love…mixed in with passion and lust. hunger. storms. a wildness that can only be tamed by you. a greed that only you can satisfy.
intensified by the surge of darkness that has overcome my being. a darkness that only you can cast light on right now. only you, because i only let you in. you are it. everything is too shaky. i am too scared. only you, e. only you can come in and move about freely. come inside, though, and don’t just stand there. come inside and hold me tight in your warm embrace. you will notice that when you come inside i’ll be waiting for you…naked. come be with me, enter me and make me whole during this time of death. take away my trembling and replace it with only the quivering left in your wake.
e, come over here. come over here tomorrow and lay down with me. come over here tomorrow to take that nap. take charge. look down upon me as you lay beside me. look into my eyes. watch my chest start to heave up and down. notice the change in my breathing just by you drawing nearer. place your hand upon me and feel my heart literally stop beating for one heartbeat. run your fingers over my face. listen to my breath catch. my chest no longer moves. i now await your instruction. you have complete control over me. body, mind and soul…at your disposal. it’s your move, e. what do you really want to do next?
slowly run your finger over my bottom lip and watching it quiver at your touch. draw my jawline. swipe your nose over my cheek. adjust yourself comfortably over me, and breathe me deeply in…the smell of my hair, the scent of my neck, the taste of my breath. and then finally, finally kiss me. i have waited so long. place your lips upon mine and gently kiss me. once. twice. place your lips upon mine and part them with your tongue. feel my body rise with anticipation of things yet to come. hot, deep breath consuming one another. you are literally breathing life into me and protecting my life at the same time.
e, i am dead inside and out until you enter and surround me. do you not see it? you will breathe life into me as you protect my life.
i’m scared to move. i’m afraid that if i move, you will leave. i’m afraid that if i move, i will die.
i only want you to draw nearer. i only want you closer. your mouth moves to my neck, to my ear. it becomes too hard, though, to keep still. my desire for you is far greater than your desire for me. so i timidly bring my hands up your sides, dragging your shirt with them. you don’t fight me on it. once it is over your head, you toss it on the floor.
you take my breath away. my first look upon your naked body takes my breath away. you are beautiful. strong. secure. safe. sexy. as you remain over me, i slide my hands over your chest and your neck. your face. you close your eyes. i pull you down to kiss you.
your hand slides up my stomach and traces the outline of my breast. your thumb moves back and forth over my nipple. as you sit up you pull off my shirt. magnificent. that is how you look, sitting on me looking down, running your fingers all over my bare skin. before i know it, my bra is on the floor. i become nervous because you remain still…the only thing that moves at first…your eyes. they grow darker.
you take your hands and you firmly cup both breasts. you squeeze briefly and then release. my nipples are hard. they become the center of your attention. at first you use your fingers, and then you bend down and use your mouth. warm. warm and wet, you bite hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to hurt. then you slowly lick the spot you wounded. meanwhile your hands roam. down.
your mouth meets mine and you shift your body to my side. my pants become unbuttoned and you have no problem finding your way beneath my panties. slowly you slide your hand down. slowly…like torture, you tease. tongue against tongue, skin against skin, hand roaming at its own pace. my hands grasping your upper arms, silently encouraging you to seek further. further.
when you slide your finger inside of me, my body instinctively pulls up. but you are ready. you have anticipated this movement and have me set in place with your upper body. you are not disappointed in what you feel. inside i almost behave like an entirely different being. she. she does what she wants, when she wants and how she wants. there comes a point when i have little control over what she does.
tight. she’s tight. she’s been ignored for a long time and is grateful for some attention. wet. just at the mention of your name she starts building up anticipation for you. soft. she’s as soft as silk, inviting you to come further in. her temperature? as hot as the sun.
she has a name, you know. i named her when i was young. i figured men name their dicks…so i was going to name my vagina. her name, e, is penelopie.
you slide your finger in and out so slowly. seductively. however, with each motion inside me, you put power behind it. you rock my body up and down a bit. each time the force your hand generates causes a slight, almost inaudible moan to escape my throat. of course, you hear them because your mouth is on my mouth, below my ear, at the base of my neck…around my breast. i’m amazed at how patient you are, how focussed you are, and how you are lovingly taking your time. it’s as if you become more and more excited the closer and closer i come…
and then you find it. somewhat hidden, but not from you. a little ridged spot right behind the bone…just waiting for your touch. you know you’ve found it by the sound that i let out when you place your finger on it. your eyes light up like a child’s at Christmas. we make eye contact. our eyes will stay locked for the remainder of your exploration.
slow again, in and out. each time you move in you press hard and rock for a split second right on my…g spot. then like lightening you retreat. your speed increases. my breathing increases. eventually you begin to put me out of my misery. you enter and you somewhat stay. your finger applies constant pressure, varying in degree. as i look into your eyes, you bring me right to that edge. i’m gripping you now…wherever i can get ahold of you. my body is struggling to come off the bed as your weight holds me down. and as your lips come down to meet mine, i fall…right. over. the. edge.
erratic breathing. heart pounding. sweat. leg shook. and she contracted with such force it made you long to be inside of her even more. exhale amongst moans. stillness. heart pounding stillness, with your finger still inside me, and you nipping at my chin.
my eyes meet yours again and i kiss you. i kiss you long and hard. unaware, i roll you onto your back. we finally get our pants and underwear off. at last, there. you. are. again, you take my breath away. you look up at me, a bit apprehensive. i lean in and kiss you gently. it’s a kiss to remind you that i love you. the worry leaves your eyes.
i can’t get enough of your taste. my tongue rolls over yours. i bring it out and trace your bottom lip. meanwhile, my hand moves down your abdomen firmly. a purposeful slide down, on the way to fill my hand with your cock. except i don’t take you fully in my hand at first.
i run my fingers around the base of your shaft a couple of times and then slowly draw them up. on your head, i move my thumb back and forth, circular, caressing you on your most sensitive areas. when i turn to look at you, your eyes are already focussed on me. deep hazel, dark eyes. intense. hungry.
i grab you firmly and you exhale heavily. i let go. my leg goes over you. you place a hand on each one of my hips. anxious and eager you look at me. just a kiss. bending over to you i smile and place a simple kiss on your lips. and then i slide my body down yours until i’m no longer on you, i’m in the middle of your legs. confusion and cautious anticipation flood your face now. it is met with another smile.
my head lowers. slowly i open my mouth slightly. lips barely parted. they skim your tip so lightly you get a shiver. i breathe in and out on you, increasing my own anticipation. and when i can no longer wait, my mouth opens…my tongue slides out and the tip of my tongue touches the tip of your dick.
i get more comfortable. one of my hands braces myself a bit on your hip. firmly i grip you there. she is turned on. she wants him. judging by how hard he is, he wants everything. i drag my tongue around and around your head, and slowly down your shaft. breathing heavy. going lower i gently slide my fingers over your balls, followed by my tongue. i close my mouth on each one, gently running my tongue around them as they rest inside where it’s warm, wet and sweet. then i drag my tongue back up your shaft and tickle your tip again.
looking up i am met with glazed eyes now, black as night. deep as the ocean. gazing at you i fully take you in my mouth now. forced to break our eye contact, i suck you in deep. you taste amazing. my tongue can’t get enough of you. while trying to bring you in even further, i move my head up and away. slowly. at the top, another tease of the tongue. down again, trying to handle all of you at once. my hand keeping your balls company, my other hand squeezing and releasing your skin. with each rise and fall, i become more and more in love with you. with each rise and fall, my speed picks up. with each rise and fall, my force picks up.
i feel your hand slide over my hand that is struggling to keep it’s composure on your body. not soon after, i feel this timid hand reach down and move some of my hair out of my face. touch my face. try to control itself from fisting my hair, which is ok, by the way.
i’m lost in my rhythm now and barely notice how quick you are breathing. how deep your air comes from. i feel you tighten and i hear you tell me to stop. i stop. satisfied with a job well done i move up your chest and back to your face. you are out of breath now, but you pull my face down to you, my body onto you and you begin to kiss me hard and with urgency.
heat. there is heat all around us now, e. only two people exist at this moment and we are together in that room. i roll over onto my back and you follow me. hands are everywhere. on your back, your arms, your ass. my breast, my stomach, my ass. and then you slide your finger inside again, but not gentle at all this time. hard. hard, e. over and over. you waste no time now and focus solely on that one magic spot. so mean. you are so mean. i can’t contain it. it’s happening fast this time. my nails dig into your back. my breathing quickens and right as i get ready to cum, you pull out your finger and shove your dick in.
i let out something on the verge of a scream as you let out a moan. my god you feel amazing. you fill me up and stretch me out. you entered me so close to orgasming that i couldn’t stop it and exploded with contractions all around you. heaven. we felt like heaven to one another. my body tightened up and my hips raised just a bit. you slid in further and waited until i let the life slide out of me.
no. you would not let me rest. out you came and thrusted yourself in with a vengeance. you made my entire body tighten against your force. again. forceful. my first time with you inside me. i couldn’t catch my breath. your first time inside of me and you couldn’t slow your pace. she sucked you right in, as if she was waiting for you her entire life. and you fit so tight. i was like a customized glove.
it’s hard to slow down your first time inside her. her warmth, her kiss, her embrace bring you to your breaking point much faster than you forsee. she squeezes life into you as fast as she squeezes the life out of you. the force of your thrusts soften, but your speed remains the same. i can feel every part of you. i constrict on purpose. she has complete control. i hear you inhale sharply. that encourages me to do it again. you inhale sharply once more. in and out, in and out. each movement more pleasant than the last.
in a trance you begin to move at a pace that is unique only to you. the way your hips pull and push. the angle of your thrusts. the depth of your penetration. you remain more in, even when you move out now. it’s time. i can feel it all over in your body. the tenseness starts in your feet, your hands and then moves inwards. your legs become tense. suddenly you drop down on me as you continue to thrust in hard. never exiting. continually pushing deeper and deeper in. the feeling is indescribable. my hands are in your hair, my mouth is on your neck. violence is inside of me. a beautiful violence, you are.
and then…stillness. neither of us breathes. the only sound is our hearts, fighting to keep up with our bodies. stillness. stillness eventually met with a forceful push. another push. and stillness, as you unload yourself deep within. we breathe.
you fall with all of your weight on me and just lay there. i never want you to move. right this moment, e…this moment is the safest i have ever felt in my entire life. i never want you to move. still inside and covering me. never move. my hands trace over your back with a lazy love. my lips gently kiss whatever part of you they can touch. never move.
but eventually you do. you lift your head up, you slide out of me and off of me onto my side. your hand strokes along my collarbone and you gaze into my eyes before you come crashing down to kiss me passionately, fervently, like it might be our last kiss. you roll me over onto you as you continue dazzle me with your tongue. eventually i fall on your shoulder and nuzzle my head deep into the curvature of your neck. my hand roams around your chest. i pull you as close as you can possibly be.
i catch a chill, so you draw the covers up over us. your arm moves around my back and holds me close. i nuzzle closer to your neck and gently kiss your beautiful skin. quietly i whisper, “i love you, e.” you inhale deeply as if to breathe the words into your body. you kiss my forehead and pull me even tighter and whisper back, “i love you, too, p.”
we close our eyes. we fall asleep. we take a nap.
i love you.