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nothing is better. everything remains the same. inside everything is the same.

darkness surrounds me and sorrow fills me up. i walk through my days bleeding internally and find it miraculous that i haven’t bled out entirely yet. i can feel myself hemorrhage from the open wound in my heart. it’s been ripped out…

i have slowly begun to fade away physically. the scale shows the decline. it isn’t a cause for concern yet. i can stand to lose weight. i have written off the dark circles under my eyes to being “busy” and the normal “tossing and turning.” if things continue to decline, though, i will need to come up with better excuses.

no one will understand broken.

no one will understand that i have been broken. that i have no appetite. that sleep escapes me and is replaced with memories and images of someone long lost.

no one will understand that i am just waiting. waiting now. waiting for him.


because life doesn’t have anything to offer.


unable to be repaired this time.


the repairman quit.

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