nothing is better. everything remains the same. inside everything is the same.
darkness surrounds me and sorrow fills me up. i walk through my days bleeding internally and find it miraculous that i haven’t bled out entirely yet. i can feel myself hemorrhage from the open wound in my heart. it’s been ripped out…
i have slowly begun to fade away physically. the scale shows the decline. it isn’t a cause for concern yet. i can stand to lose weight. i have written off the dark circles under my eyes to being “busy” and the normal “tossing and turning.” if things continue to decline, though, i will need to come up with better excuses.
no one will understand broken.
no one will understand that i have been broken. that i have no appetite. that sleep escapes me and is replaced with memories and images of someone long lost.
no one will understand that i am just waiting. waiting now. waiting for him.
because life doesn’t have anything to offer.
unable to be repaired this time.
the repairman quit.